My first memory was walking to the bakery with my mother and sister in Valparaiso, a coastal town in Chile. Dark cobbled stones and the smell of fresh bread, hoping she’d buy me a juicebox.
From my mother I’ve inherited my charisma, playfulness and embodying a positive attitude in life. I can’t imagine my life and my identity without it, it almost feels like a superpower. From my father I’ve inherited his do-it-yourself attitude, it’s an empowerment I’ll forever be grateful for. He never hesitated to encourage me to pick up tools and try to fix, make or break things myself.
At school I remember reading 'Esperanza Rising' by Mexican-American author Pam Muñoz Ryan. It was the first book that made me cry. Later my mum gave me 'The Poisonwood Bible' by Barbara Kingsolver. It made me realise that I hadn’t fallen out of love with reading, I just hadn’t found the right book. The fact that each chapter is told from a different perspective, alternating between the mother and each of her four daughters shifted how I saw storytelling.
When I was around 15, after watching Pitbull and Daddy Yankee on Youtube, I was hit with the unshakable conviction that I could write better lyrics than ‘money, money, money, girls and cars’. I knew at that moment that I had two options, shut up and enjoy it, or try and do better. Almost two decades later, I’m still at it.
I arrived in London when I was twenty. What struck me was that people were allowed to exist just the way they are. There’s a nook and scene for everyone. I’ve never been somewhere so multicultural. It felt like there were possibilities around every corner (literally). I was studying and working at a music venue at the same time, and spent many nights going myself to open mic nights to
build up my confidence to be on stages.
My biggest breakthrough was opening for Ana Tijoux in London in 2022. That was definitely a full circle moment for me.
Over the years I’ve realised the importance of cultivating discipline! At some point I became aware that I didn’t have the discipline to live the life of my dreams, even if all the opportunities were there. That hit hard. I think once you feel the bigger picture of where you want your life to go, it makes the small things seem easier. I’ve made some solid improvements since.
Late night doomscrolling gave me an unexpectedly useful piece of advice…it was a snippet of a podcast or an interview, where the guest on the show encouraged us to ask ourselves “do you want to be right, or do you want change,” reminding us that “you can rarely have both”. That idea rocked me to my core and has been paramount in the way I respond to challenges.
I’ve discovered that conflict is not always a bad thing. It will show you that something isn't working and needs to change. Obviously we aren’t talking about violent conflict here, but on an interpersonal level. If you “lean into conflict,” no matter how uncomfortable, it can be a gift.
The funniest thing that happened to me recently was going to a popping dance class for beginners. My friend’s phone was about to die so she said she’d just see me in the class. I began the class – everyone is looking suspiciously fit and toned, and with a very serious ‘dancer’ look to them. I’m progressively butchering every exercise in the class and this was just the warm up. I finally nail the right move, but look around and everyone is on the floor, while I’m still standing. Catastrophic. This happens over and over. At some point i’m so flustered, confused and embarrassed that I twirl by way out of the door half way through a choreography, hoping nobody will notice. A few hours later I reach my friend on the phone. She asked me where I’d been, she didn’t see me in the class! Turns out there were two studios. I had walked into some insanely expensive masterclass by Beyonce’s choreographer. We lost it laughing.
My perfect Sunday in London…is Full English breakfast and a cycle through a nature reserve
Fedzilla will perform at the Viva Club Arena at LatinoLife in the Park, Sunday 19th July. Tickets here
